I’ve grown up being a gaga fan of Walt Disney movies, in which all ended with ‘and they lived happily ever after’. A sentence that gave us hope, that love is a solution to everything.
But then of course gravity pulls us back to planet earth, and reality hits hard when the happily ever after is no where in sight after being in a serious relationship for a while.
With the fast pacing world, everyone may tend to overlook the complexity of relationships today. With the perfect solution being ending your once upon a time love story. The denouement of a long term relationship or marriage creates a lot of chaos, imbalance in every persons life. Which affects the individual as a whole. To achieve fullfilness and growth it’s important to have stability in relationships.
While writing this blog post , I asked people to define their relationships in one word; the most usual answers comprised of sacrifice, compromise, trust (with a few exceptions of course :p). Being committed in a long term relationship can be taxing, it can get out the worst in every person (pink will surely agree with me on this ; relates to her blockbuster song “true love”).
Keeping all the cons aside there is a reason why things worked out in the first place and two people choose to live with each other for as long as they live. So to maintain the spark in every relationship; here are few things we can keep in mind.
A very significant person in my life once told me; men are not magicians or astrologers who can read our mind. It’s important to communicate thoughts, feelings, emotions. This will help in better understanding yourself, your partner and your relationship as well. Communication is the key to keeping that engine running.
A relationship is about two people; but it does not mean it should take your independence away. Give space and ask for some. Once in awhile choose to have some alone time or catch up with your bestie or a day at the spa. It’s good to make yourself a priority at times.This will help to maintain a balance between self and your relationship.
While giving space to each other, don’t distance your selves too much that you fail to recognise the other person. By this I mean spend time together away from the daily hassles of life. Plan a trip, or stay home watch a movie or cook together; anything that you both love to do. I personally enjoy the combo of beach+beer+boyfriend ;).
And the most important of it all; leave the past in the past. Relationships comprise of the worst fights, misunderstanding, mistakes. Which you may choose to resolve by even staying up all night . Once dealt with don’t look back. Move on like it never happened. Rumination can hinder the growth of your relationship. And it’s better to let go than living with something you can never forget or forgive.
Love is not a job that requires to be followed as a routine; nonetheless it entails hardwork in the form of appreciation, understanding, and togetherness.
So love, live and find your forever:)
I hope you enjoyed reading!!
Article by : Amanda Fernandes | Psychologist | 🇮🇳